Whod you bang
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i believe in u and ur pee
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
