i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize