well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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