He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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