You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
accomplished twins. life is a go
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
