Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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