He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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