I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
