so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
