You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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