I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
