Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
