I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
