I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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