I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
