Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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