So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
