Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
