Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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