Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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