You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
