i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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