I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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