My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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