please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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