seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
