We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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