So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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