the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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