I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
