Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
