k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So here I am, sexting at work.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
