i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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