I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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