it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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