If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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