Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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