I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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