i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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