this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
