i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
