ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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