I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
