I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think my fart just growled at me.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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