I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
