just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
