I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
