I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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