8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize