i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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