...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
