They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
