Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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