sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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