I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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