i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think my moral compass just broke
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
