So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
