Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
