are you still at the devil's house?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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