I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
