We named our party play list daddy issues
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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