Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
