Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
