they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I need to calm my uterus...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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