glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
